The profound and mystical world of dreams

I'm drawn right now to talk about dreams. For me personally, it's a subject that has garnered much attention over the years, but I finally feel like writing about the dreamworld and my experiences within that mystical, magical place.

The first dream I can recall happened when I was three years old.  I dreamed that a rather large lion was trying to get in my bedroom window.  Frightened, I can remember running out into the living room and into the arms of my mother, who comforted me and told me that it was just a dream and there was nothing to be afraid of. Because after all, she said, that lion wasn't real.

The years went on and I would continue to be what I always described as a "very vivid dreamer". I can remember on many occasion, recounting a dream to a friend in such layered detail that I would watch their face change, thus knowing that perhaps not everyone had dreams quite like this.

But everything would change in my dreamworld shortly after I was attuned to the energies of Reiki. Sure my dreams were still as vivid as always and could be recounted in great detail, but quite suddenly, I began dreaming precognitively. I remember this variety of dreams starting out rather small and benign- for instance, I would dream of a colleague experiencing something in the workplace, only to have it play out in real life a couple of days later. The first time this happened, I was really freaked out! And then, it happened again and again until I found myself seeing the future in my dreams on a much larger scale. I saw several plane crashes and other negative world events in my dreams before they came to pass. I grew to be able to discern between a regular dream and a precognitive one, largely based on a feeling I would get or sometimes by certain symbols or "markers" in the dream.

It was difficult being the dreamer of such precognitive visions because what I was being shown of the future was scary and very negative.  For a long time, I felt helpless because I was unable to change the outcome of these events and so I couldn't figure out why I was being shown them in the first place. They plagued me to some degree until all I could think to do was send loving energy to the future event, in some desperate hope that I could somehow change things for the better (although this never seemed to happen- at least as far as I could tell).

Pretty soon, I realized that I should be writing my dreams down. I had heard of dream journaling before, but it was not something I had ever bothered with. At the suggestion of a few people I had shared my dreams with, I began to record them and I am so glad I did (which I'll discuss a bit more later on). Side tip: I really find it helpful to give each dream a title that encapsulates the dream. This makes it easier if you ever want to go back through your journals and find a particular dream.

Around this same time, I also began to experience the arrival of various Indigenous people, messages and symbols in my dreams. These came in the form of messengers from the animal kingdom and human Indigenous teachers and healers who would graciously show me things. I came to look up the meanings of these various animal messengers or totems as I eventually realized they were appearing to me to teach me about myself and the things that were going on in my life. They are extraordinary teachers! I can remember about a week before receiving my spirit name of Blue Turtle Woman from my Elder,  I dreamed I was standing in a forest watching hundreds of turtles flying in the sky overhead.  I will always be indebted to the various Indigenous Elders and Medicine people who have come to me and continue to come to me in my dreams. They show me so much and for this I am very, very grateful.

Another such messenger dream I called "Mountaintop Shaman" and in it, I found myself taking a workshop of some sort high on a mountaintop. One day, a group of us went outside to sit atop the mountain and enjoy the view of the whole range. Suddenly, I saw a black animal that looked like a fisher or a wolverine, perched atop a nearby mountain peak. I shouted "Look at that animal!". Then it came toward us because there was a little bird on a branch near us and I saw this animal wanted to get the bird. Then, we were all at the bottom of the mountain at a beach area and an Indigenous man was talking to us about the animal. Afterwards, a second older Indigenous man came up to me and said that he felt the animal was actually a shaman. He smiled, looked deep into my eyes and repeated: "It was a shaman". I smiled back and agreed with him.

Despite the evidence that I had tapped into something much greater than myself and that I was being shown many things, much of it was difficult for me to accept and I remember going through periods of feeling undeserving of such immense gifts from Spirit. Why me? Shouldn't this be happening to someone more qualified? Someone more spiritual? I spent a lot of time trying to figure it all out in my head, rather than welcoming it fully into my heart with no guilty attachments.

It wasn't long before I began to read everything I could get my hands on about dreams and soon I discovered the world of lucid dreaming. It's only been a handful of times that I have achieved lucidity in my dreams, but every time it happens, I am excited because as I once read: "If you can change your dreams, you can change your life". Overcoming fears in a very intentional, conscious way in dreams for example can help you overcome fears in waking life as well. Plus, when in a lucid dream state we can do other things, like ask specific questions about things that are important to us and in turn receive the answers.

Soon, I realized that I was doing healing work of my own in the dreamworld, as I slowly seemed to be making my way in and out of those mysterious realms. I would dream that I was facilitating healing for people or showing up to accident or disaster scenes and helping out. And then I realized, with some reservation (!), that I was also escorting people who had passed away to the "other side". I can remember my first attempt at this: I dreamed I was watching a crow flying in the sky carrying the body of a man in its clutches. Suddenly a voice announced to me that I needed to fly up there with the crow and assist. So I found myself flying up and then I was the crow and I could feel the weight of this man in my clutches. Somehow I knew he weighed "170 lbs" and I was trying so hard to keep hold of him as I flew through the air. Just then, I saw a person down below preparing a plot of land for this man's burial. I knew that I was to drop him precisely into that plot. But, I was growing very weary and I knew I couldn't hold him much longer. And suddenly, I began to throw up all over the place and a very sympathetic voice said "I know, this is really difficult to do". I then found myself in a mall and someone handed me a picture frame that read "Dreaming" and the word "Spiritwalker" on the top.

I also began communicating in my dreams with loved ones who had passed. Often this was done via an old fashioned black telephone and other times I would see the person and simply know that they were in spirit form and were coming to tell me they were alright. This was very comforting and sometimes if I felt brave enough, I would share it with other family members hoping to bring them peace and comfort too.

Just recently, after a discussion I had this summer with a curandero from Peru (another story for another time!) I felt the urge to dig out all my dream journals and read them cover to cover (something I had never done before). Wow. What incredible insight I gleaned into myself- the patterns, messages, themes and teachings over the years all laid out for me to learn from. I uncovered both mysteries and answers all within the pages of my own dream recordings. What a gift!

I continue to give thanks to the Spiritworld for the guidance I receive in this magical way- often offering tobacco just in my backyard to the specific animal or person who offered me a teaching. And I continue to try to find my way in the mysterious dream realms while at the same time trying to figure out if they are a world that I need to become more consciously aware of navigating. Will this skill come to me naturally over time or do I need specific instruction? I remember once reading about a Native man who was specifically trying to find his late father in the dreamworld. For some reason, this always stayed with me as a possibility. A possibility so mysterious and intriguing, but a possibility nonetheless.

This summer, I had a dream that contained the message: "Fly with the Thunderbirds", and I think I will do just that. With gratitude and humility on this lifelong journey.

Thank you/Meegwetch.

Shannon

The life & times of a stepmom and her little teacher

My city was covered with a heavy blanket of snow today.

While many of my adult counterparts were probably heading home tonight after work to sit by a fire and have a glass of wine, I was heading to the park to play with my stepson. Snow pants and all, we trudged across snow-packed sidewalks, crazy carpets in hand and smiles on our faces.

If you don't live in a snowy climate, you might not realize that there is very often a silent, surreal feeling after a huge snowfall. While part of you (the very adult part) might be lamenting the driving and the shoveling, there is this other part of you (the inner child part) that is in awe of the snow-covered tree branches, the heights of the snow banks and the thought of tobogganing.

Ryan and I arrived at the park entrance, both totally giggling and our mouths dropped open at the sight of the snowfall that covered the benches and the play structures. No one else was there (which is our absolute favourite- those few times when we get the whole park to ourselves) and that serene, surreal feeling was in the air. We crazy carpeted our way down any mounds we could find, made snow angels, ate snow, took turns burying each other in it (and then "busting out", as Ryan called it), sat down in a variety of hilarious ways in the deep snow on the benches and trudged our way around the whole park. In our imaginations, we were on a trek to the South Pole, we were climbing Mount Everest and we were spies on a covert winter mission.

I love Ryan for his ability to show me how to be a kid again. And he doesn't even bat an eye when I feel like getting particularly goofy (thank you, Ryan). It's absolute fuel for the soul and if you haven't gone out to play in the snow with a kid lately, I encourage you to do so as soon as you can.

As twilight fell upon the park, we both noticed that the sky was turning a stunning, albeit slightly ominous, dark purple colour. The wind started to pick up, blowing snow right at us, much to our shrieking delight and we decided it was time to call it a night. We left the park, thanking both it and the winter for such a good time and trudged on home.

And as we entered the house, Ryan turned to me and said "Well, that was an awesome time at the park!". I couldn't agree more, little teacher. I couldn't agree more.

Life, love and the eternal search for meaning!

Yikes! It has been a while since I last posted. But- I have good reason! I have been traveling, exploring and going through some pretty heft energy shifts. Forgive me?

First things first. At the end of August, I headed to Arizona with my partner Shawn.........we visited the surreal Sedona and feasted our eyes on the sacred Grand Canyon.

The American Southwest has called to me ever since I was a kid. I can't explain it, it just has. So, this August I finally heeded that call, and it did not disappoint. Nor did life spare us any challenges prior to heading out. Shawn suffered a rather mysterious collapsed lung about a month before our plane was to take off, which really threw us because we weren't sure if we would be able to fly (the whole cabin pressure vs chest cavity pressure thing). But, as the fates would allow, we were able to fly out as scheduled. Phew. Trip meant to be. All is in alignment.

We arrived in Phoenix, the Superstition Mountains surrounding us, and rented a beautiful Gold Wing motorcycle. From there we headed north and didn't look back. Driving through Sedona, I had tears in my eyes, both because the energy and beauty is so unbelievable and also because I just knew I had been there before. It was goosebumps galore and just so much more than anything I had seen in photographs. But the spectacular Sedona would have to wait another day as we were headed to our hotel further north in Flagstaff.

The desert heat in August nearly did us in until we had reached Sedona and then the magical, fragrant Oak Creek Canyon which offered us a 10 degree reprieve from Phoenix. The Oak Creek Canyon scenic drive is phenomenally beautiful and by now our heads were on swivels. I was on the back of the bike, literally trying to savour every moment as surreal as it was. This land absolutely calls to you- it welcomes you and coaxes you to discover more. I sensed Spirit everywhere I looked- in the multitudes of faces in the rocks, in the soaring red monoliths that towered yet beckoned in their own gentle way and in the fragrant pine forest air that permeates Oak Creek Canyon.

Heading into Flagstaff, the landscape completely changed from Sedona, I could see the sacred San Francisco Peaks in the distance. A different, yet equally powerful energy to the glorious red rocks of Sedona. I was at home. My spirit was soaring.

You know, before I left home, I was hoping for the best but fearing the worst from Sedona. Was it a New Age overrated place that had become tacky and overdone? Would I be disappointed? Well I can tell you that it was the exact opposite. I quickly noted that any pictures I'd seen did not lend Sedona any justice (as my own photos don't....I find myself trying to explain to friends and family viewing my photos that "it was so much more amazing than this even looks!"). And even though we had just one day there, we made the most of it and I know that my spirit got exactly what it was craving. Our hike around Bell Rock and The Courthouse (both energetically powerful red rock monoliths) was an equal blend of the exquisitely serene and the intensely profound. Neither Shawn or I had experienced anything like it before. You could have heard a pin drop back in behind The Courthouse- and the swirling dirt devil vortex (or was it??) that came up ultra suddenly had us questioning everything. It was aMAzing!

After our hike, we headed into Uptown Sedona and toured the shops. Many were of the crystal/healing variety which of course peaked my interest and it was in one of them that I discovered White Buffalo Turquoise.  Later on, I had an aura reading done (which was uncannily accurate and I'm not just saying that) in a lovely shop called Sedona Story. We ended the day with a 360 degree panoramic view at the top of Sedona on the Airport Mesa.......just sublime. I just remember sitting there absorbing it all into every cell of my being. I wish we could have stayed for the full sunset but we had to navigate the switchbacks of the Oak Creek Canyon drive.......something neither of us wanted to do in the dark.

The next day was The Grand Canyon. My heart racing, we headed north again, driving across a straight as an arrow highway amidst a flat desert landscape. We both wondered how The Grand Canyon was possibly out here in all of this flat terrain. But we kept driving- toward one of the world's foremost natural wonders. And this was also our chance to drive through the San Francisco Peaks- a very sacred mountain range to the Navajo people and many other nations- and I could feel their gentle yet powerful presence as we drove through (me, again soaking up every moment and snapping away with my camera from the back of the bike).

The Grand Canyon is utterly beautiful (I almost feel silly trying to describe it in words). It is like nothing you know at home, yet it feels completely familiar. Its vastness is almost beyond comprehension and while you feel like you want to stare and soak it all in, you also can't help but respect its overwhelmingly powerful presence. I was very aware of the Hopi, the Yavapai, the Navajo and other tribes who call the Grand Canyon home. Their spiritual presence is palpable. Their faces are in the rocks, their spirits are on the winds. It is not a place, it is an experience.

I leave you with one final shot that further explains why I am synonymous with this place:

The Blue Jay Chapters

A couple of weeks ago, I rounded the corner of my house on a Monday morning, garbage bag in hand and late for work, only to find a beautiful gift in the middle of my driveway.  In the midst of such an unglamorous and mundane task, I was presented with a blue jay feather right on a little mat that I had left out to dry after a day's rain. (Not to mention the fact that my current Soul Coaching group was on its last day of Air Week, so it was almost as if that beautiful shock of blue was just sitting there to mark it!).

But the biggest thing I took away from this was the understanding that we just never know when a gift from spirit is coming our way. I'm also happy to say that a few days later, I dreamt of a blue jay that was up in a tree, shaking himself until a feather fell off of his body onto the ground below. So, I received another feather in that other realm, I'm sure as a result of my offerings of gratitude to this beautiful messenger. (An Elder had recently reminded me to always express my gratitude and lay down some tobacco for the animal or bird messenger whenever possible!).

(Oh- and note to self: Quit grumbling about taking out the garbage from now on!).

Shannon

Turning 40.........

.........was challenging! Okay, okay I admit it! No longer being able to refer to myself as "in my 30's" as of the end of June, I am still finding that I'm in some kind of "age limbo".

Try as I might to take to heart all the familiar sayings that are designed to make us feel better about getting older (ie. "40 is the new 30!", "Age is simply a state of mind", "You're only as old as you feel", "Age is just a number!" and on and on) I still found it difficult to say good-bye to the 30's. And as much as my genuine, good-intentioned friends reassured me that I don't look anywhere near 40, I still found myself cringing at my new number. But why?

Pressures of society? Pressures I place on myself? A strange panic setting in that time was somehow running out? Feeling depressed because I hadn't accomplished some of the goals I'd hoped to have accomplished by 40?

A few months ago, I decided to try to head it all off at the pass by planning a trip to Arizona to "celebrate turning 40" (yes, err, uh, trying to embrace it instead of dreading it!). So, before long, my sweetie and I had the whole thing arranged- I will finally be seeing the Grand Canyon and the beautiful sprawling deserts at the end of August- a dream of mine since I was a little girl. Yet, as excited as I was about the trip, the old dreaded "feeling of 40" eventually crept back in. Yes, 40 was actually getting its own feeling! And it wasn't good!

Then, I let Shawn throw me a party, and as nice as it was, I found myself feeling anxious and discombobulated that day. I then started feeling ridiculous about my reactions......I mean, here I am, with so much to be grateful for: wonderful health,  a great partner and family, wonderful friends, a new business, an education I am proud of,  a still-youthful appearance and a generally laid-back attitude towards life.  So, what was the big deal?

Once I figure it out, I'll let you know. But until then, I am going to continue to try to go with the flow, be grateful for all that I am and all that I have..........and embrace, embrace, embrace (or let go, let go, let go........whichever ends up being easier).

Because, after all,  haven't you heard? Age is just a number.

Message from the Groundhog

Don't worry- this isn't about Punxsutawney Phil and whether or not he's predicting 6 more weeks of winter. No, no. It's about a furry little friend I encountered recently and the powerful message he had for me.

A few days ago, I went to see my Cree Elder who was in town from Saskatchewan to teach and consult at the Kumik Lodge. During my visit with him, I decided to ask he and his partner about fasting Vision Quests. The truth is, for the last few months or so, I've been feeling a strong urge to go on a Vision Quest. I can't really explain where this is coming from- all I know is that I feel it is time.

In Kenneth Cohen's book Honoring the Medicine; The Essential Guide to Native American Healing (which I highly, highly recommend) he describes the Vision Quest:

The Native American Vision Quest is typically a one-to four day period of isolation, fasting, and prayer in pursuit of guidance from the Great Creator. The "vision may be a waking or sleeping dream, a meaningful encounter with an animal or a helping spirit, or it may arrive when the spirit of a natural phenomenon, such as wind or thunder, visits the quester. The vision guides us as we try to live our truth and during times of crisis. It may reveal a person's life purpose and gifts and bestow on the quester the power to achieve them and to overcome adversity. 

  It's very important to me to do the Quest properly and under traditional guidance. During the last few months, I've asked a few different people about Questing but no one could really offer any direct help or link me to anyone I could do the Quest with. I was beginning to wonder if perhaps this wasn't the right time! But.......as the fates would have it, my Cree Elder told me he knows of someone in the area near Maniwaki who leads fasting Vision Quests on his property in the Fall and Springtime. They are going to ask him if I may join in on the next one this Fall. So, I will keep you posted when I hear whether or not I've been accepted.

Ok.......so now I'm getting to the part about the groundhog! When I left the Lodge I decided to turn into a place called Victoria Island, a very sacred land to the Algonquin People. I figured I could sit there for a while and contemplate the discussion I'd just had with my Elder. I no sooner turned down the road leading to the Island when I noticed a little groundhog over on the grass sitting half in/half out of his hole. I kind of moved toward him and when he didn't go anywhere, I moved even closer still. The cute little guy just sat there looking at me! I was able to get so close to him and I just crouched down on the grass and the two of us sat looking at each other for a few minutes! Then, off he ran........but not without looking back to give me another quick glance.

When I got home, I looked up the meeting of groundhog medicine. What I read moved me beyond words and I knew right then that I had received a very timely sign. Groundhog's medicine means  "altered states of consciousness, soul travel, controlling metabolism and dream time".  So I encountered a groundhog who allowed me to come within inches of it directly after I was discussing doing a fasting Vision Quest?? Ok, thank you little creature (and powerful prognosticator!).

Forever amazed by and grateful to our animal messengers.....and the Great Spirit!!

Shannon

Okay, so why "Blue Turtle"?

Alright, so a few of you have asked about the name of my blog.

I will happily share with you why I chose "Blue Turtle", but first, allow me to give you a bit of background........

You know, life is mysterious.  Nine years ago, I would have never guessed I'd be on this path. I can remember sitting on my couch, reeling from yet another ended relationship and thinking "There's got to be more to life than this!".  I can actually remember that moment as if it were yesterday. And as I looked around at my living room full of boxes, something just clicked. Because there was more to life than that! I realized in that very moment, something was calling to me- something from deep inside. Back then, I had no idea what it was exactly- I just knew that I was being called somehow. And the best part was, I paid attention. (Ok, that bears repeating: I paid attention!).

It's interesting because I wasn't raised with any particular religious or spiritual background and up until then, I wasn't even quite sure what I believed in, if anything (or anyone). I would never have described myself as "spiritual"- not in the slightest! But, yet, here I was feeling this tug- urging me to find some truth.....some deeper, larger reason as to why I was here on this earth. And then practically out of nowhere, I started thinking about Reiki (an ancient healing art). It had been years and years since I'd experienced a Reiki healing in the Bahamas and I certainly didn't know what it was actually called. I just knew that a man had placed his hands on my aching foot and in doing so, completely relieved it of the pain.

This strange urge I had to look into Reiki led me to my local library where I read everything about the subject that I could get my hands on. It wouldn't be long before I would show up at my first Reiki course and then, as they say, the rest is history. After Reiki Level I, I began having dreams at night that were full of Native symbolism. I knew something of Native culture, having learned quite a bit at university........but this was bizarre! I didn't know how to piece any of it together and the dreams just kept coming fast and furious. I saw animals, people, Indigenous healers, shapeshifters and on one occasion, the enormous projections of Native spirit people on the sky with the sound of loud thunder in the background!

Once again, paying attention to what was happening (and diligently ignoring the worry that I was perhaps losing my mind!) I decided to seek the guidance of a First Nations grandmother. She was extremely kind and patient as she listened with much interest to my story and when I finished speaking, she suggested that I go and see a particular Elder who just happened to be visiting Ottawa that week. She told me that he was a very gifted seer and was immensely helpful to people like myself who are beginning to open up spiritually.

So, excitedly, I went to see him at the beautiful Kumik Elders Lodge and as promised, he gave me information, helped me with the dreams I'd been having and then he went into a meditation and sought out my Spirit name for me. What he came back with rang so true deep inside.........he told me that turtle had gifted me with the name of Blue Turtle Woman. And the reason this rang so true was that a few nights prior, I had dreamed I was standing in an old forest when suddenly hundreds of turtles were flying in the sky! One in particular, seemed to stare at me as it flew past- holding me in its all-knowing gaze.

I left the Elder that day changed somehow. I was incredibly humbled and felt so honoured. He told me he could not help me with the meaning of the name and that it was up to me to discover on my own over time.

So years later, as I decided to create a blog which would be a place of spiritual musings, sharing and ongoing discovery, I couldn't think of a more fitting name. And the Blue Turtle Blog was born.

Thank you for listening.

Shannon